Years ago, working in clubland; (that's the term we old musicians used to use for doing the circuits of the old working-men's-clubs. Like nightclubs, bars, pubs, drinking establishments).
Anyway, working in clubland one night; (I should mention at this point, not wanting to sound too much like Ronnie Corbett, that in clubland, especially in working-men's clubs; everyone, (meaning -'the regulars'), always sat in the same seats).
I'll digress to say... Everyone knew everyone, you couldn't even stand in the wrong place at the bar for fear of upsetting someone. "That's my seat, my stool, my standing spot, even my turn on the pool table" (even though no money was put down and you had already put your coins in the table,- because no-one was using it). I'm sure there are still places like this!
Anyway, back to the story... Many years ago working in clubland one night, a message was
passed up to the stage; (sorry about this, but I should explain also that I was playing keyboards / organ and I had a drummer and a 'compere' working with me.. (or MC as they are sometimes called, I should probably also mention that MC means Master of Ceremonies, for those of you that are not into the world of stage and entertainment).I didn't just want to assume that you knew what I was talking about.. Anyway... I digress again, lets get on with the story..
Many years ago working in clubland one night, a message was passed up to the stage; Someone had jotted down on a thin piece of paper, a request "It's Maureen's Birthday.... 111". We did have a lot of elderly people in, there was some sort of pensioners "do" on. ....
That sounds strange doesn't it? "Do", that's how we use to talk, back then. We're having a "Do". It just meant, a social occasion, event, party.. (Again, I don't want to just assume that everyone knows what I mean)...
Anyway.. getting back to the story... Someone had jotted down on a thin piece of paper, a request "It's Maureen's Birthday.... 111". So we stopped all proceedings! This was something big! You see, in the UK, when a pensioner reaches the age of 100 they get a letter of congratulations from the Queen. That's right, I said the Queen! Queen Elizabeth II.
I don't want to digress again, but I'll have to just to say that, I remember the event, its the reason behind my story, but I don't actually remember the woman's name, so I'll just call her Maureen, it could have easily been someone called "Ida" or "Hilda", I don't think she'll be reading this at any-time in the near future and I'm probably the only-one who remember the event anyway.
So,... the names have been altered, (all except the Queen, of course), so that I can tell this story for you.. Anyway, without further "adoo", (now there's a funny term "adoo" who thought of that). Let's forget that and get on with it! .....
So like I was saying, in the UK, when a pensioner reaches the age of 100 they get a letter of congratulations from the Queen.
Then in many cases they get a letter again and again every year they celebrate a birthday..
So we went into this spiel, about how great it must be to reach the ripe old age of 111, how many wars they must have lived through, all the inventions and changes and prime-ministers they must have seen come and go... Yes we went on and on... Well the compare did!
(Not me, I was innocently sitting at the organ, minding my-own-business).
As the compare announced this birthday, there were a lot of cheers from the packed club, Maureen and her entourage were sitting at the back of the club, they were calling out things, but we could not hear them, nor actually see them properly, (stage lights in your face and all that).
The note was placed on the top of the organ, (we used to use it like an extension of the bar-on-stage. Ash trays, pints of larger and bitter, the odd whisky for the singer and some music from the artist I was backing, the compere's music, etc).. Quietly, I picked up the note and examined it more carefully...
As it turns out, on the other side of the THIN paper it said;
Maureen's 45 today,
try to 'cheer her up' she's
ill.
try to 'cheer her up' she's
ill.
When you turn the paper over, (you guessed it), all it actually said on the other side was.....
" It's Maureen's Birthday! " (the "ill" part had come through the paper where it had got wet from a spot or drip of spilled drink or something... But - it looked like -
It's Maureen's Birthday!
111
So, we made our apologies, Maureen did feel better because of the laugh it gave every one!
AndyGold
We would have lit the candles on your cake, but we didn't want to speed up global warming!
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